Life's Jewels

Retired!

2010-07-27T12:58:00.002+08:00

I'm retiring this blog with effect from this post, and from now on my rambles about life's little happenings will be mashed into my crafting blog. Looking forward to your continued support. Thanks!!

Little Penguins

2009-10-29T11:08:00.001+08:00

Little Penguins II
Originally uploaded by jewelparlour

My girl's class performed the penguin dance at their school's annual concert at Victoria Theatre. They look so cute don't they! Shaking and wiggling their little butts, and having a great time. I find it heartwarming to watch my girl and other kids play/act/dance/do things together. It reminds me that she is only 4 and that I should treasure this time with her while she is still adorable.

The Most Costly Milkshake

2009-09-22T23:33:00.004+08:00

I had a chocolate milkshake, or rather an "ice-cream shake", from Ben & Jerry's at United Square today, and it was the most costly one I've had in my life. It cost me S$11.90, and unfortunately did not even have half the "oomph" of a MacDonald's milkshake. It was thin and runny and tasted like melted and watered down ice-cream. So why in the world did I pay through my nose (yes I am suffering a heartache from that purchase now still) for it? Because honestly the price of it was NOT indicated on the board (at least not today when I was there!), and I assumed it would cost less than S$10 bucks. Too presumptous of me? You bet. When the cashier rang up the amount I was shocked, but then it was too late to cancel. I then looked around for a price menu, and finally found a small one (about an A5 size) atop the ice cream counter, and sadly at a corner it did say S$11.90 for a shake. Lesson in point - always ask about the price when in doubt. And according to that menu it was supposedly half a pint of ice-cream with milk. Really? It did not taste like it, and I thought I saw the waitress scooping only one into the blender. Conclusion? I am NEVER going near B&J again. Udders, Swensens, Hagendaz, here I come.

The Night Owl Syndrome

2009-09-22T23:20:00.002+08:00

I have transformed into a night owl since I've started to stay at home. Nights have become highly productive, inspirational, precious and wonderful me-times that no other time can compare. I have tried sleeping early and waking up early, but that did not quite work out for me. I am usually grumpy in the mornings regardless of the time I went to bed or got out of bed, and regardless of the hours of sleep I've had. I am a morning monster. My brains work quite slowly in the daytime, and my trains of thought are often punctuated by chores and other have-to-do items of the day. But I answer to no one at night. Belle is asleep and will not bother me with one of her "can you help me mama"s. I can do anything I want, create non-stop, think clearly without interruption. The only problem is I have to suffer the consequences of lack of sleep in the day. If only nights were 16 hours long. :)

Paradox

2009-07-19T23:54:00.002+08:00

I'm such a woman of paradox -

1) I want my daughter to grow up, yet I love her current age right now (4 yr olds are so cute!)
2) I love to shop but I hate to spend money.
3) I love chocolate and ice-cream but I don't want to grow fat.
4) I like my hair long but I hate to wash long hair.
5) I like the sanctity of staying alone at home, yet being alone can be so boring sometimes.
6) I love flowers yet I think they are such a waste of money.

Star Trek Vs Wolverine

2009-05-27T11:10:00.002+08:00

I prefer Wolverine. Because the storyline makes more sense, and it's easier to understand. There were a few times during Star Trek that I had to ask hubby "um, what's going on?" I had trouble grasping the time travel thingy and deciphering old Spock's mumblings. hehehe And there are more cute actors in Wolverine *drool drool*. :)

I Need

2009-05-27T11:04:00.003+08:00

I need a new laptop to replace the old one that's hissing and overheating
I need new spectacles to replace the old one that keeps sliding off my nose and making me look like an old lady
I need a haircut - haven't had one since Nov last year. And white hairs are growing.
I need new T-shirts to make my wardrobe more interesting. But I have not seen any nice ones around.
I need new sandals and shoes.
I need a new bag.

Ok, so the last 3 items are not needs but wants. When I was in college I did not understand fully the most basic economic theory of "unlimited wants, limited resources", because I did not have many wants then. Now I do. So now I fully understand. Oh oh. :)

K Drama: Spring Waltz

2009-05-07T21:12:00.002+08:00

After a long long rest from K-dramas, I decided to turn on my DVD again on Monday, and watched Spring Waltz for the first time. I finished this series in 2 days, all 20 episodes of it (while doing other chores at the same time). The music was great, the scenery superb (though how much of it was edited i wonder). The story was however a bit draggy at the end. Why do they have to make it so complicated and difficult to love? I thought the lead guy Seo Do Young looked amazing at the piano, but progressively looked worse as the show dragged on, probably because his hair was getting too messy! :P The only bright spark for me was Daniel Henney, who looked good from start to finish. But unsurprisingly, his poor character could not get the girl of course. Hubby adored the lead girl Han Hyo Joo, she is the same girl in Iljimae, but I think she did better in this one than in Iljimae. Well overall, I think the show was a B+ for me. Okay, time to take another long break from K-dramas. :)

Ranting

2009-03-18T17:54:00.005+08:00

Friends around me are pregnant, just gave birth or are planning to have a baby. Although I have always said I don't want another (and truthfully I don't really fancy being mom again), the question of "should I have another child" keeps popping into our minds. After all, we are getting older, and the age gap between the first and second child should ideally not be too big, but financial issues and all other nitty gritty things just scares the life out of me. Who will help me when the baby cries non stop? Who willl understand the loneliness of staying at home, stuck to a nursing baby (and also a young child?) Do I have the strength to go through sleepless nights again? Probably many other stay at home mothers are waving their hands at me right now and going "I know! I know!", but I think compared to them, I am not only physically weak, I am also mentally and emotionally weak. I remember the depression I had gone through the past few years. Have I cleared the woods already? Would I affect the next child with my mental stuggles? I guess I have more hurdles than other mothers. Have a maid to help out is a solution, but that will drain us dry financially, something that I do not like to see happen. I feel so stressed out just by thinking about all these things. Well if it is to be obedient to my Lord, then I'll do it, otherwise, I am definitely not keen to go through the baby cycle again.

I am also in another of those "I feel like shutting down my craft "business" "moods. I can only blame myself for the lack of success in the venture. I have been so lazy with a capital L. Pastor Jo said if push comes to shove, and I really have to depend on this to survive, then probably I would have more motivation to make it work. She is probably right. What I lack is motivation. I feel kinda like I have wasted the past 3 years on this, and it all came to nothing. But I was sure all the times I wanted to shut down, the answer from above was no. I did do some things here and there trying to garner more business, like going to bazaars, putting things regularly online, joining online social websites, developing product lines and so on, but I lack the drive the follow through. Unlike my crafter friends who really put in time to network with people, develop products, advertise, search for consignment or bazaar opportunities. I am not one who likes to deal with people, and wish that my products will just fly off the shelf without my having to push for sales. In my dreams I guess. So would it be better just to say, okay stop wasting time, or should I continue and push myself to do better? I don't know. Stuck in the middle. Cannot let go, cannot move forward.

Life sucks. But 'nuff ranting for now.

Horse Riding

2008-12-29T15:43:00.001+08:00

Horse Riding
Originally uploaded by jewelparlour

We were at the top floor of Suntec City and my girl spotted these rides lined up in a corner. It cost S$3.20 for 5 minutes to ride on ones of these. A rip off if you ask me, and the horse does not move by itself, you have to move your butt up and down to make the horse move. What a lot of hard work. But my girl was soooo thrilled. It was like the best thing that happened all day. And of course a little butt moving is no sweat for a 3 year old!

Taiwan Vs Korea

2008-12-26T00:03:00.004+08:00

After watching Miss No Good and Iljimae on TV, both hubby and I have decided we prefer Korean dramas and actors sooooo much better than their Taiwanese counterparts. As I write this, I can already hear the T-Drama die hard fans protesting, but hey, to each his own yah? I guess the Taiwanese make their serials more comic-like, hence the special effects. But I still like the more natural kind of acting and storyline of the K-dramas. K-wave yeh!

Celebrations

2008-12-24T04:07:00.013+08:00

The year always finishes with a lot of celebrations. My wedding anniversary is in Nov (and this year we celebrated our 7th anni), my birthday is also in Nov (and I'm not telling you how old I am, and if you've guessed please don't shout it out), hubby's birthday is in Dec, and then we have Christmas and New Year of course. And right after New Year my little one will turn 4. What a lot of festivities going on.

And as usual our mode of celebration is usually by wining and dining. For our anniversary we had a costly and oversized dinner at Morton's Steakhouse. It was a surprise from Hubby, and I must say I was very impressed with their service (they had the menus personalised with our names on it, and the table had sprinkles all over to celebrate our occasion). The steak was yummy, but the portions were way tooooo HUGE. We should have shared one of every course and saved some cost too, but that would make us look like scrooges. but luckily dessert was on the house!
For my birthday I opted for Japanese Buffet, so we trooped down to Hanabi at Odeon Towers and stuffed our faces silly. And what's more, my girl dines free. Great value for money in that sense. And the food was okay. Not something I'd remember for days, but not bad. The only difficulty I had was in ordering the portions. When I ordered one portion of tempura it came a huge plate with all the various assortment, and when I ordered one portion of deep fried prawns all that came was one single piece of shrimp. And here's a picture of me in the restaurant (no pics of the makan, sorry, we were too busy chomping them up!)
For Hubby's birthday we went to Hyang Tol Gul at The Amara, an authentic Korean restaurant we stumbled upon on the internet. Our first visit left us quite a good impression, so we decided to celebrate Hubby's birthday there. If you like Korean BBQ, hot pots and their delicious side dishes this is THE place to go. I have not had tastier korean food than this. But the service is much to be desired, I must say.
And we found 2 more ice cream cafes to hang out. One is Island Cremery at Serene Centre, which we passed by quite by accident on my birthday and decided to give it a try. The alaska bomb (I think that's what they call it) was an ice cream cake I had to blow out my candle on. Very delicious. And because it was my birthday I had a scoop of bubur hitam ice cream on the house. And I bought a pint of apple pie to try out, but that wasn't that great, sad to say. But I am still keen on going there to try out other flavours. The other place is Udders next to United Square at Newton. That was a real quaint place and Hubby has set his heart on their connoisseur durian ice cream which is really heavenly! The next time we'll try their liqueur ice cream. :)My belle has chosen Japanese for her birthday. Wonder where we'll go this time? Yay! Chow time again! :D

Inertia

2008-11-13T23:17:00.003+08:00

Do you usually feel rejuvenated or more tired after your holiday? We just came back from our holiday, but I really feel tired. Body, shoulders and neck keep aching. Perhaps I have shopped and walked too much. And probably dropped my mojo somewhere too. Instead of feeling refreshed and missing crafting like crazy, I am almost afraid to walk into my studio, and trying to give myself reasons not to logon the internet. And strangely I have the urge to draw. Not that I am an artist, I really can't draw great, but I just feel like grabbing colour pencils, oil pastels, watercolor and draw my heart out. Who knows, maybe another new wave of creativity is hitting me. I do hope that I will get over this inertia period and getting into the crafting mood again, coz there are actually a dozen ideas swimming around in my head!

My New Favourite Steakhouse

2008-10-31T23:29:00.003+08:00

My New Favourite Steakhouse
Originally uploaded by jewelparlour

I love the steak here - it's yummy and reall yvalue-for-money. Hubby and I were there one day and we were so impressed we brought the family there again the next day! My favourite is the ribeye and the wagyu and the IBC rootbeer. Service was good too, and there was no service charge! The only imperfections - the queue is really long (coz it's really yummy), and they don't serve dessert! Here are some drool-worthy pics of the good makan we had:

Disclaimer: I'm not afflilated or associated with Astons in anyway, this is not a paid advert and these opinions are all my own.

A Mother's Joy

2008-09-18T12:29:00.001+08:00

A Mother's Joy
Originally uploaded by jewelparlour

She was so happy to receive this pair of heart shaped sunglasses from a goodie pack in school. Became her favourite toy for a while before the next new item came along. Her smile here makes me feel happy, one of the rare times where I feel joy of motherhood rather than just chores and responsiblity and frustration. I guess that's why mothers go for more, because of the joy. Me, I am still holding out, although there are times where I feel maybe I should take the plunge again, after all, mother of one sounds like some underachiever.......but then new frustrations will set in and I'll be reminded that I like the current situation as it is, no more please!

Twilight Zone

2008-03-17T00:39:00.001+08:00

I am in the twilight zone
And I can’t find my way out
Eyes water and heart moans
Lost in a misty cloud

Tired and weary I drag my feet
Dreading every step
Getting no rest even when I sleep
Falling through the cracks

Suppressing, repressing
I’m a volcano waiting to blow
Struggling, hurting
What an undesirable place to go

I have no reprieve
Only a spark of hope
That my Lord will not forget me
Because of Him I can cope

And one day the sorrows will pass away
The festering wounds will recover
Life will be sweet again
With much joy to discover

Bad Behaviour

2007-10-29T23:28:00.000+08:00

Today my daughter pretended to make jewellery with her alphabet tiles like her mama, and told me "Don't disturb me, don't talk to me now, I'm making poisonous" (to deter her from playing with my colourful clay or putting them in her mouth, I told her that they were "poisonous" when they are actually non-toxic). Her mannerisms and actions were almost exact duplication to mine. My hubby thought this was a funny story to relate to my in-laws. I was not around (and definitely not amused), but I heard from my hubby that my MIL exclaimed that my daughter had said the exact same words to her auntie a few days ago. Now they knew where she learnt all this "bad behaviour" from. Now my MIL probably believes more firmly than ever that I am an inadequate mother. Thanks to hubby who on more than one similar occasion has ceased to use his grey matter for a while. Not that I care. Much.

It is true that sometimes when I need concentration in making my jewellery, especially my clay ones, and when Belle is chatting to me non-stop in her high-pitched demanding voice, I would tell her off firmly to stop disturbing me and talk to me later after I finish my work. And if she didn't stop demanding my attention sometimes I would blow. I do have a short fuse. I do have a lot of imperfections as a mother. I do fail. Many times. I do resemble my own mother sometimes. Which is a bad thing.

If you are a perfect parent, if you never had any guilt at all, you are welcomed to judge and criticize me. And boy do I want to learn your parenting formula. But if all you have is just experience and not perfect scores, then I'm sorry, you are not entitled to cast the first stone. Because you cannot accuse me of not trying to be better mom. Because I have. Maybe not hard enough for some, but I have done what I can humanly do for now. I am not making excuses for myself. Yes I need to be a better mother, wife, daughter etc etc. I need to be a better person. Period.

Don't we all?

That Kiasu Bug

2007-10-09T01:37:00.000+08:00

I received a phone call from a local popular kindergarten this afternoon informing me that they are opening up a new class next year and would I still be interested for my daughter to be in the class since she was already on the waiting list? Of course! was my excited reply. And that was the bite of the kiasu bug that started a string of events that make us look laughable. First, I called up my husband to alert him of the fax that was transmitting over to him from the school. Then he rushed home after his meetings, picked up the cheque book, rushed down to the school and in a matter of hours we had the place for our daughter confirmed and sealed. Even the school administrator expressed surprise at our efficiency, after all, the payment due date was at the end of the week, a good 4 days away.

But to be fair to us, kiasu we are, selfish we are not. We proceeded to inform all our friends whom we know would be delighted at the news, and they too, started their own chain of events that would confirm and seal their children's place at the school. Some of them did so even though they already had places confirmed in other less popular schools.

Well, before I was a parent I had looked upon kiasu parents with disdain. Oh you would never catch me doing volunteer work just to get my child into that popular school, was my thought at that time. But now as a parent, my mindset has completely reversed, and I tell you, it is most probably you WILL catch me doing volunteer work just to make sure that my daughter has a place in a school of our choice. My husband's cousins just did too, and now their girl is in that popular girls' school that starts with R. Although my princess is still a good few years away from starting her standard education, I think it is never too early to think about her future, now. Yes, that need to give our children a headstart in life make us a laughing stock, but we don't mind, because it is most probably we have lost our minds while trying to secure a bright future for our kids.

And I am sure I am not the most kiasu of parents, why just today I learnt of a newborn having already booked a place in that popular kindergarten. And those were not the most kiasu parents either, according to them some foetuses have already booked a place in that popular kindergarten. That is really some planning ahead. If I accidentally have a 2nd child by the will of God, I might just do the same. "Hello, is that XXX kindergarten, yah I would like to book a place for my child. Which year was my child born? Umm, not yet, he is due to be born next year......"

I Am So Disappointed

2007-09-25T01:04:00.001+08:00

With the K-drama Jumong. Because the love story between the 2 main leads did not work out. And I am such a sucker for romantic happy endings. I am so distressed right now. Arghhhh. I should stick to watching only comedies. Thank goodness the male lead (Song Il Gook) is cute, or I would have felt like I have totally wasted my time!

If Life Is Like Shit

2007-09-17T22:59:00.001+08:00

Flush it!

Inspired by the phrase, " When life hands you lemons, make lemonade" Except I am too pissed right now to make or drink any lemonade. And no, I cannot tell you what happened, although I wish I could. Suffice to say that shit happens sometimes, even if you have already done your best. :(

Just waiting for this day to be over and flushed away.......

The Mid Mid Life Crisis

2007-08-21T10:32:00.001+08:00

Here are the signs that tell me I am going through a mid-mid-life crisis (mid-mid coz I am still far from midage!)
1. Dress code - I am trying to dress out of my comfort zone. No I am not trying funny styles or baring it all, but I am trying to look at clothes that are not so naturally me. Like patterned blouses instead of plain T-shirts, and loud prints instead of the safe conservative monotonous colours. There was once hubby and I saw a old lady walking along the street decked out in boots, spaghetti top, midriff jacket and 3/4 jeans. Such a concoction would shout cool on a youngster, but it was totally out of place for the old lady. So I tell myself if I want to try in styles, the time is NOW, not 30 years later. I used to hang out in tank tops and shorts so often before I gave birth, but now wearing such things out on the street makes me feel a tad uncomfortable. Not that I have any leftover pregnancy fat - I don't. 21 months of breastfeeding has left me with a 24 inch waist and a weight less than pre-pregnancy. So I attribute the discomfort to age. I must be getting old (oh no!) But if I don't wear them now, soon the appropriate age to wear them will be truly truly over. So the length of all my clothes are going to be reduced.
2. Hair - I find myself thinking of zipping my hair really short. This has happened only 1 other time in my life, when I was 19 and thought that my boyfriend (who is now my hubby) preferred girls with short hair. That resulted in a regrettable haircut and a loss of some admirers. So now when I think of zipping away my hair I am hesitant, yet I am craving for a change. The perm that I had last year was also due to that craving I guess. Look where it has brought me. Bah.
3. Meaningless of Life - I find this so. I am such a fan of Solomon on this. Meaningless, meaningless, everthing is meaningless. Such meaninglessness is a heavy burden on living. The unbearable heaviness of meaningless living. Bah bah.
I think No.1 & 2 are easy to solve, but not No. 3, which requires travelling to the past to undo some hurts and mistakes and then zooming back to the present to set some Godly goals in preparation for the future. Don't know what I'm talking about? Neither do I. Bah.

And So We Are Not Going.....

2007-08-08T09:04:00.001+08:00

So the verdict is out. We are officially not moving to London after all. Well we have done all we could and should, and it was entirely left up to God. So now God says no, what else could we do. We have to believe He has chosen the best path for us. But I think poor hubby is very disappointed.

For me I am both disappointed and relieved at the same time. Disappointed because I have always wanted to live in another country as an expatriate, and I would have loved to live in London and have the opportunity to tour all over Europe again. The last time I was there I did say I wish I could stay in Europe for a few years simply to breathe in that rich history and culture. And of course it would be a break from the monotony of life here. But if we really had to move, there would have been a huge logistics nightmare (packing baby's things alone would have killed me before we got anywhere). And also there is the uncertainty of life there, no help from family (i.e. no babysitting services) and I would have to learn cooking, do all the household chores myself, be stuck to baby for the rest of the time, and where would that leave my jewellery crafting? But then again a move to London might be good for business. Ah, no use crying over spilt milk. If God says no, it's no.

So now I have really have to start tidying up the house. I have been putting that off for some time, telling myself that I would do that major packing when we move. My house is in a mess now. Time to do something about it! Yuck :P

I Love Nights....

2007-08-07T01:25:00.001+08:00

I cannot remember when it was that I started to become such a nocturnal creature. I mean, I literally come alive when the clock strikes cinderella time. Before my girl started school she would sleep at about 11pm and wake up the next morning at 11am (and of course she won't be taking any naps in the afternoon), but that gave me a reason to sleep at 4am and wake up the same time as her and still have sufficient rest. And I really enjoyed it. I love the peace, calm and quiet of the night, it helps me to think, brainstorm, rejuvenate, watch my kdrama, touch base with myself etc etc.

And now I sort of miss it. Since girlie started school I have to start sleeping earlier too, and use the time that she is away at school or taking afternoon naps in the day to do my stuff. I am finding it much harder to concentrate in daylight. It does not matter whether I sleep early or not, I just find my brain really cluttered in the day. How did I manage to survive school and work in the past? I cannot remember, haha. I must have zombied my way through probably. And I was so critical of my uni roommate being a night owl last time! It's contangious Nana, now I am a night creature too! And I would linger as long as I can at night until I know if I don't sleep now I would be totally non-productive the next day. Speaking of which, this would be time to sign off, else it would be a wasted day tomorrow ;P

It's Spoiled! Yay!

2007-07-20T01:04:00.001+08:00

When I was still working in a 9 to 5 (or 9 to bedtime which could be past midnight sometimes) job I was an avid shopper. In order to destress I would hit the shops and spend my hard-earned money on clothes, bags, shoes and other accessories, telling myself each time as I fish out my wallet that I deserve to pamper myself, I need to dress up for work anyway, I would feel better if I look better....blah blah. Sounds familiar? Hehe. Over the years I built up quite a wardrobe and collection of such things. My hubby thanks God that I am not brand conscious and splurges only on affordable things, not luxury goods like Gucci or Chanel or Prada or LV. My reasons for not doing that are simply: 1) I like variety, so if I have to be stuck with an expensive LV bag for the rest of my life I would actually be quite miserable. 2) I simply cannot afford that kind of money.

After quitting and staying at home without that steady income stream naturally I have to cut back on such unneccesary expenditure. I had to discpline myself to buy only replacements, not whims. So I would use the same bag, wear the same pair of shoes (of course these rules cannot apply to clothes, coz I have no wish to smell like a monkey or look like an auntie) until they break down, then I would take pleasure in hunting for a replacement for those items.

So here it is, a bag that I bought from HK during last year's trip, all worn out and torn at the front seams. I was elated to have a valid reason to go shopping at last, but was a tad sad when I threw it down the chute, after all I had used only this bag and no other for some time and had grown quite used and attached to it. But I am not a junk-collector, so no space in my closet for sentimentism - down the chute it went. And I have already hunted down (and purchased with pride) its replacement. Unfortunately a "freak accident" happened to that new bag, but that will be a story for another day. For the time being, I am just happy and proud of myself to have controlled my expenditure. Good job Michelle!

The Princess Goes To School

2007-07-06T01:53:00.002+08:00

Finally.....my little girl is 30 months and eligible for Nursery 1. This is now her second week at school. Although we had to make major changes to our daily routine, especially our sleep schedules, I think her going to school is actually a good thing for all of us. She gets to expend her energy and is less bored, and I get precious time away from her to do my craft and other chores without being disturbed. And hubby enjoys having the whole household wake up with him instead of having to be jealous of us still snoring in bed when he goes to work each morning.

On some mornings though it was quite a struggle to wake her up. She would try to hide herself under her blanket, thinking this would make the whole world go away. And there was one morning she threw a fit and knocked her chin on the bathtub. And of course there is the usual crying at school for the first few days. I had to attend school with her for 3 days, but after that I decided to let go and let her learn to handle herself at school. She did us quite proud, by the 1st day of the 2nd week, she stopped all her crying and whining and was actually having quite a ball in school.

However, getting used to the routine was easier for the little girl than for the old one. I fell sick with a bad throat infection on her 2nd day, and up till now (more than a week later) I have still yet to recover fully. The worst part is that she also caught the bug from me this week and had to stay home for 2 days. Poor girl. And poor me, coz having to deal with a sick child's tantrums are not really fun. Well, hope we will all recover soon and we will get back to the school routine happily again.

Time Flies

2007-06-13T16:45:00.001+08:00

Children are like time-keepers. Their growing up reminds you that you are growing old.

My Crafting Journey

2007-06-03T14:35:00.001+08:00

I have been making jewellery for a year and a half now, but I have seldom talked about it to anyone except my husband and a few friends. Of course my husband bears the brunt of it, and my friends just hear about my frustrations here and there. But I do need to vent, and I do need to sort out some thoughts, so I am going to blog about it here, now.

I started trying jewellery crafting because I was bored at home, and I wanted to see if I could make something at home to sell and earn some pocket money. Before I gave up my job to be a full time mother I was working in the highly stressful finance industry. The first year at home was a major transition year. I had to cope with a new baby, no income, no colleagues and a serious loss of self-esteem. It was painful. Making jewellery helped me work my brain juices, gave me a sense of purpose and the creation process was actually fun, therapeutic and highly enjoyable. Of course when I first started my family helped out a lot by bringing my things to their office to sell, and my husband's auntie commissioned a lot of stuff to give to her friends.

Then I tried selling online, which I found to be already overcrowded with plenty of jewellery sellers, and later on I started to do some bazaars too, which was also overcrowded with plenty of jewellery sellers. I tell you, the competition is dead stiff. But there were many who succeeded in making a living from selling handcrafted jewellery, and I thought why not I. Little did I know this was going to be a roller-coaster ride, sometimes from a sense of glorious achievement to a deep pit of bitter disappointment. My impatient and melancholic personality does not help I guess. A sale is such a high encouragement it can help me make big plans for this "business", but a lack of sales for a long time would cause me to doubt my own creative talents. Many times I have thought of throwing in the towel.

In the crafting sense, I tried to improve my skills as much as I can. I always make and sell things that I would wear too, things that would make me feel proud wearing them. I did my research and studying and experimenting. But this isn't the hard part, it is actually fun. The difficult part is the selling. With the limited monetary resources that I have, I have tried my best to "stand out" from the crowd. Are my designs lousy? I definitely don't think so, moreover, I have some loyal customers who love my stuff. Are my prices wrong? I have seen some things (not necessarily better) selling at much more. Perhaps I am not doing sufficient promotion, perhaps I need more distribution chanels, perhaps I should do more pendants, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Sometimes I wonder what in the world am I doing choosing to walk this difficult and less-trodden starving artist's path. I am a graduate for goodness sake, who can earn a decent living working in a comfortable office with a respectable bonus at each year-end. What in the world am I doing struggling like this? I cannot answer this, I just feel that selling my time and talent for money is not half as exciting as making a sale of my own crafted jewellery. However, I cannot continue endlessly like this, I must decide whether I want to, in my husband's words, "go all out" to make it happen, or just give up and keep it at a hobby level only. Going all out entails lots of energy and dedication and most importantly, a stomach to endure all hardships and disappointment that may come. Keeping it at a hobby level only is like a cap on my creativity. I have tried stopping before, but always end up coming back to it. And each time I want to stop, God would somehow open up a door, like a sudden order, a sudden sale. But I am really tired struggling like this, and my heart is the lousy kind that can bear only this much of heartache and disappointment. I really don't know what to do now. Should I decide to "go all out" I am also unsure of the direction and goals to set for myself. I am confused right now

I think God shall have the final say. After all, this "business" and my talents belong to Him. Nonetheless, I just want to thank my hubby for all the support and help and advice that he has lovingly showered on me so far. Thank you for walking with me, David, guess you have not much choice either, poor chap, being stuck with me. Thank you for your love.

I Need A New Hairdo

2007-06-01T03:32:00.001+08:00

6 months ago, a few days after my 29 birthday, I went for my first ever hair-perm, thinking of having a wild makeover before I hit that dreaded three-oh (apologise to those reading this who are already there, but you should know how I feel yah?). My hair was not obedient, the immediate day after the perm they decided to revert back to their 'straightness'. I had to redo the perm (FOC of course, the salon had to do a better job right?) the week following. 2 months later, just before Chinese New Year, my face decided to protest against the hair curling cream that I had to use everyday to maintain those damn curls, and broke out in rashes. So I had to stop using all the hair products, and watch in dismay as my hair became neither curly nor straight and became terribly tangled.

Now I think it's time for a new hairdo, because my terribly tangled, neither curly nor straight hair has become too heavy and difficult to comb and wash. But this time I am not going to spend too much money. I have been watching my purse strings like a hawk the past few months, and I resolve not to let down my guard this time. So I will head to a neighbourhood salon recommended by my MIL, which will hopefully price reasonably and will not push me to buy any hair products. Before that, I have to decide what I want to do with my hair (just trim? cut a new style? rebond?) and practise how to say no to anything else.

Well, at least here's a memory of that perm that didn't last:

I know what you are thinking: what perm right? My hair looks straight right? This was just a month after the perm, I know, stop it, don't rub salt into the wound anymore. Boo hoo.

Maybe I should cut my hair like Isabelle's, then probably she can finally look more like me. :P

Those Good Old Days

2007-05-28T13:37:00.002+08:00

I was staying up late last night making my clay pendants, and then on the radio I heard "You Were There" by Southern Sons. Did I get the song title rite? Gosh it was a popular song when I was 17 and in college. I don't think the group is still around, or are they?

Anyway it brought back fond memories of college days, sitting around in the school canteen listening to this song blasting from the PA system during breaks. Life was simple, fun and exciting. It was all about schoolwork (which was always a breeze for me), play, friends, hanging out, crushes ( I remember having 5 all at the same time before).

Ah those good old days......

I Want to Go Japan

2007-05-24T15:13:00.001+08:00

I can forgo all other destinations, but not Japan.

And I haven't seen those cherry blossoms yet.

But it will cost a bomb, gotta save like crazy. yikes

A-B-C

2007-03-15T12:55:00.001+08:00

I tried to teach my 2 year old to recognise alphabets yesterday.

I nearly killed myself in the process.

She can sing the "ABC" song without a fault, but for the life of me I cannot understand why she cannot visually recognise A B C and D even when I repeatedly taught her umpteen times.

I tried the "repeat-after-me" approach, the "pick-out-the-right-card "approach, the "get-a-sweet-if-you-get-it-correct" approach, the "look-at-the-card-and-say-the-letter-10-times approach, the "you'll-get-caning-if-you-don't-sit-n-learn-properly" approach, and finally bursted with a "Are you stupid or dumb or what!!!" Wrong approach obviously.

Hubby came home and tried to make her learn by drawing the letters. After 1 hour, he was also visibly irritated with her non-progress.

The result of a frustrating day: She can recognise B but not any other.

Our conclusion: 1) She is probably too young. 2) We suck at teaching early childhood. 3)We have to try other methods. 4) We suck as parents.

But all is not lost (I hope), at least today she told me she wants to learn ABC.

I Need To Complain

2007-02-22T17:35:00.001+08:00

Does anybody know why the "About Me" in the Profile section of blogger accepts selective html tags???? Really, I have been at this for the longest time and it's really P****** me off! I really have accumulated a stomach-ful of vulgarities in the past 3 hours while trying to make my "About Me" section of my jewellery blog look presentable. And it's still not up to scratch, at least not mine! Sh**!!!

Happy Birthday to Me

2006-11-25T23:22:00.001+08:00

It's my birthday today. I am starting my final year in the wonderful twenties today. I spent my birthday selling my jewellery in front of Plaza Sing, and having my nearly 2 year old sing a birthday day song to me, although she was more anxious to blow out the candles and sink her teeth into the Pooh Bear ice cream cake.

I got well wishes from my in-laws, my mother, my good friend Constance and a pretty White Dog Bobbby sketch pad from my hubby and White Dog Bobby buttons from my friend and fellow seller Jess. And some good sales yesterday and a bit more today. And a night of shining stars. Presents from my heavenly Father.

If I have only 60 to 70 years on Earth then I am almost halfway through. Time to do something worthwhile before it's all through.

Long Time No See

2006-10-31T01:30:00.001+08:00

Hello online journal.....it's been a long time. It's not that nothing has happened to write about, but most of the time I had been either too busy or was not in the writing mood. And I did not want to flood this journal with negative thoughts or feelings. Sometimes I think I should start another new blog to jot down all my negative thoughts. I think that journal would be packed!

We were in Japan for holiday from 17 to 27 Oct. The photos are still in the handycam. Our old Nikon digital decided to abandon us on the first day of the trip. And the handycam can only take stills up to only 1 megapixel. Poor us. So who enjoys the trip the most? Who else but Her Royal Highness Baby Ong. Wish I were a baby too.

I busted half of the cash we brought there on jewellery parts. Hopefully some of it will come back. Otherwise, I should really find other cash generating avenues, like a dull but paying home based job.

Well, soon there should be some vacation photos to post. Wish I could post videos too. Or can I? I'm too lazy to find out.

Angel's Vocabulary

2006-07-13T13:17:00.001+08:00

My baby has just turned 18 months and she can understand more words than she can speak them. For posterity sake, this is a list of the words that she can say now:

What Baby can Say - What It Means:
1. Tar - Star
2. Baa - Sound of sheep
3. Pok-pok-pok - Sound of chicken
4. Ssssssss - Sound of snake
5. Boo - Sound of cow
6. Mew - Sound of cat
7. Wo wo wo - Sound of dog
8. Ummm - Cookie Monster
9. Mo mo - Elmo/Nemo
10. Arg-arg - The Count
11. Yoey - Zoe
12. Big - Big Bird/Any Bird
13. Mi mi - Mickey/Minnie Mouse
14. Bear - Any bear/Winnie the Pooh
15. E-oh - Eyeore
16. Figh figh - Hi-Five
17. Sey - Yes
18. No no no - No!
19. Psss - Please
20. Bor - Ball
21. Gar - Car
22. Nana - Banana
23. Per - Apple
24. Pear - Pear
25. Mo mor - No more
26. Wa - One
27. Too - Two
28. Twee - Three
29. No - Nose
30. But - Backside
31. Air - Ear/Eye
32. Pen - Open
33. Kot - Yakult
34. Mum mum - Eating/Food
35. Nan nan - Milk
36. See woo - See you
37. Si - Sit
38. Oh - Oh oh (when something goes wrong)
39. Dug - Duck/dog
40. Par-tee - Macdonalds/KFC
41. Buddee - Barney
42. Fffff - Fish
43. DiRtee - Dirty
44. Wak - Watch
45. Wa yeh - Water
46. Tok - As in tick tock for clock
47. Da - Down
48. Ah - Up
49. Zut Zut - Jup Jup from Hi 5
50. Goh - Go
51. Ju - Juice
52. Bag - Bag/Bread
53. Nigh! - Nice
54. Men! - Amen
55. Nimen - Lemon
56. Boon - Balloon
57. Bor - Ball
58. Ot ot/Ko ko - Hot/Cold
59. Not-yee - Naughty

And of course there's Mama, Papa, Mah-mah (Granma), Goong(Granpa), Bo Bo (Maternal granma), Ma (Vilma the maid), Bee (Alby the Dog), Bye bye, Hi, and a bow for Thank you and a hug for Sorry!

I Want

2006-06-28T17:56:00.001+08:00

Have you ever seen the banking advertisement that has the wife and son saying I want I want I want to the poor husband/father? Well, I have my own rendition, although I am saying this to God:

I want a house to my name, a business with a fame,
I want money enough to splurge, on things when I have the urge,
I want a baby who won't cry, and a life that is mine,
I want time to explore, all the countries I'll adore,
I want all these and more, all good things galore!
But then they only last this lifetime, and after that - Bye Bye!
And if I have them all, would I really be having a ball?
Having meaningless things that pass, forgetting The Only One Who Lasts,
So if I have to choose, between these things and You,
I'll still say My Precious Lord Jesus, I just want You.

Bicycle Saga

2006-06-09T16:36:00.001+08:00

We have decided to get a healthy lifestyle going....and start exercising at least once a week. I don't like to swim, Baby can't rollerblade yet, so we decided to try cycling which we both don't mind. So on Sunday we got down to Carrefour and bought a bike, and then a childseat and a child helmet, coz we certainly can't leave the baby behind rite! Woo-hoo, the peripherals cost as much as the bike! The cost of having a child......

Anyway, when the bike came yesterday we discovered (after the delivery guys have left of course) that the back tyre brakes were spoilt during delivery. I was quite upset coz it's such an anti-climax! And my hubby had to call the customer service quite a few times before he was able to reach them. And then it took a while for them to respond. By the time the manager called back this morning we were both fuming. The manager must have felt the heat at the other end of the line coz she immediately sent her man to come collect the bike. And the man who came was another smart one- he brought with him a new brake pad which he installed for us immediately without having to go through all the fuss of taking back and re-delivering again.

And so we are appeased.....now that the hardware has been put right, time to put our exercise resolution to test.....

Korean Drama Craze

2006-04-21T14:36:00.001+08:00

I have caught the Korean drama serial bug......I bet everybody, at least those who understand Korean or Mandarin are watching, or have watched "Jewel In the Palace" or "Da Chang Jin". No, you don't have to be an auntie to catch the bug.....coz even my hubby who is a serious Channel 5 only fan has been converted. Even my career woman type of Mil who cannot understand Mandarin has watched 1 episode and found it interesting.

Because we couldn't catch every episode on TV, we have borrowed the first series from our neighbourhood video rental store. After finishing 20 episodes in a week, we rushed down to borrow the 2nd and 3rd series. But alas! Someone has borrowed the second series and has not yet returned, leaving us in limbo and suffering from serious withdrawal symptoms every night since. Will that someone kindly finish watching quickly so that we can have a go too!!!

But hey, I found out that there is another Korean drama showing on TV right now about a 18 year old marrying a 30 something. Quite a comedy I think, hmm.....maybe I should go to the store and see if they have this title and borrow it first, just to stem the withdrawal symptoms a little!

New Babies, New Mummies

2006-04-16T19:44:00.001+08:00

My friend Han told me that she really enjoyed her maternity leave. When she was alone with her baby without anybody at all she really enjoyed the bonding time. I was surprised that she found new motherhood a breeze. When I was alone with Baby in the first 2 months of her life I nearly died. She was so sticky she would never let me put her down during the day. I was literally stuck to her the whole day so much that I couldn't even go to the toilet. Every hour I was breastfeeding, and when she took a nap I had to be holding her in my arms even when she was lying down on the mattress. After a while it felt as if I was living her life. It was only when she started sitting up and crawling and gaining her own mobility did I get a reprieve.

Another friend J has just given birth in February. From her e-mails and her husband's blog some of her experiences reminded me of my own 'dark days' back then. I used to think that I wouldn't mind having many children, but now I do, because I cannot imagine having to go through the same cycle, the same emotions all over again. One time and I am already too exhausted.

I have heard from a close friend that another mutual friend is pregnant with the third one again. Yes some people just love children, and even though they are full time mothers they seem to enjoy themselves tremendously. I have realised I am not that sort, I thought I love children, I thought I would enjoy being a full time stay at home mum. Although now it is not all that bad, but for the sake of my sanity I think I should not venture to struggle down this path again if I can help it!

Back from Hibernation

2006-04-16T19:33:00.001+08:00

Hello journal....long time no write....yes I have been lazy, have been busy and have been feeling blue.....so I have been hibernating for a while. Now I am back!

I have started a new blog for my jewellery hobby. It's now at www.jewelparlour.blogspot.com. I thought it would be more convenient to have a centralised place to list down my pieces. But this site is still in business definitely. I still have stories about my life jewels to pen down......

Hong Kong Escapade

2006-02-28T12:29:00.001+08:00

A real trip for all of us from 11 to 19 Feb. Third trip out of the country for Baby but first time on a plane. For Hubby and me, this is our first proper holiday since Europe in 2003.

How I have enjoyed myself shopping and eating to my heart's content! And I have finally visited a Disneyland! If only I could stay longer......

When I first set my eyes on the skycrapers built in such a chaotic fashion, I was appalled. In the HK drama serials I have never noticed such an untidy sight! And the height of their buildings make Singapore's look like dwarfs. And all those neon signs! It's a perpetual Chinatown! Hubby told me that because of their lack of space everything has to built upwards, and their shops are also on top of each other. Those shops above the first floor have to send employees to the ground floor to distribute pamphlets to passers-by in order to attract business.

It's amazing the number of people there are in Hong Kong, there is always someone within 30 cm from your face, except in Stanley. But it is indeed a more efficient place than Singapore. For example, we were at Maxim's Chinese Restaurant in City Hall and although our number was about 35 away from the present seating, we only had to wait half an hour as promised. People are always rushing about somewhere purposefully, only tourists like us walk slowly and leisurely, though sometimes we can't help but get pushed forward by the crowd behind us, especially in MTR and Ladies' Market!

Shops open till 12 midnight, but they closed until 12 noon the next day. Hubby and I were joking that finally we have found people who like to sleep late and wake up late like us.......

But now it's back home in Singapore.....back to life, back to reality........if only life is one big holiday!

Happier Lunar New Year

2006-02-09T16:33:00.001+08:00

This year's Lunar New Year was indeed happier for me......I got to buy new clothes, thanks to Hubby's generous wallet, Baby is walking and could go visiting, and I even got time to go trim my eyebrows! Looking better and regaining a social life certainly lifted one's spirits.

And this is my princess is her New Year garb.....pretty aint she.......how she has grown! The smaller baby is also her.....one year ago.....

Now she can take her own ang pows and give oranges as well! And she is really enjoying all the love letters, kuey bangkit and other goodies like all other children. My girl is officially no longer an infant......she is a toddler! And I have waited so long for this day......haha....

Hello Again

2006-01-20T21:48:00.000+08:00

Hello online journal.....I have not abandoned thee.....too many things have happened since the year began.....

1st Jan: Baby had her first birthday party. Think I was a scatter brain that day and wasn't a very good host. Oops :< 4th Jan: Celebrated Baby's actual birthday at Sentosa. The day started lousy because the birthday girl threw a temper tantrum at Delifrance and refused to eat her porridge. Had to endure her incessant screams for nearly an hour while strangers stared. We tried everything, waiting, ignoring, scolding, reasoning, distracting, and finally slapping. When she finally stopped our mood was ruined. Luckily she fell asleep for a while after that and when she woke up we managed to feed her some liguini from Coffee Bean. Looks like the new toddler doesn't want to eat baby food anymore. 5th Jan: Brought the girl for a repeat urine test 7th Jan: Clinic called and confirmed that she is having another bout of UTI. This is the second time since May last year. So we rushed down to the clinic to get her antibiotics before going down to Han's place to celebrate her baby's one month. Her baby and mine and born in the same year.....but while mine has just celebrated her first birthday....hers is celebrating his first month! I always thought year-end babies are better coz they can go to school earlier and finish uni earlier as well.....like my hubby and I..........oh well.....maybe she can get a headstart because she is ahead in development..... 8th Jan: Decided that Baby and I would skip the Kl trip next week after all....coz she will need to go back to the clinic for review after her antibiotics and all.......maybe there is hope that she will recover soon and we can fly down to join him.... 13th Jan: Baby fell down and knocked her head on the table leg. A 'rambutan' immediately appeared on her head. As anxious first time parents we rushed her down to the clinic to check that everything is alright. 16th to 19th Jan: Hubby in KL, so I had to play single parent and shuttle to and fro the clinic for baby's reviews and tests. On top of that, I had to bring her out to distract her so that she will stop whining for her papa. Tiring......Thank God hubby could finish and come back a day earlier 20th Jan: Baby fell ill with flu. Even the nurses could recognise me since I have been there almost everyday of the week. Secertly, we suspected that she might have caught the virus somewhere from the clinic.....since there were some many sick children around and Baby loved to touch everything she saw. It's like 'Diseases United' down there! The nurse wished me a happy new year as I left and said hope not to see me again.....same here, same here..... So that is what has been happening since 2006 began......yes I know the above is just a recount of events.....I haven't the time to analyse my feelings......akan datang!

Christmas Frenzy

2005-12-30T18:44:00.001+08:00

All Christmas partying has ended and the new year is coming. I noticed that Christmas excitment usually starts building up one month before Christmas, when buildings dress up in their Christmas garb and households start putting up their trees, and is the highest on Christmas Eve where almost everyone is at some party. Christmas day itself is however much quieter, as if everybody is trying to recover from the frenzy of preparing for this day to come.

To my family, Christmas is not about presents, nor about Santa, nor Rudolph, nor about parties. Sure, we do give and receive gifts and attend a party or two, but we still remember that Christmas exists because of our precious Saviour, without whom none of us would ever receive the greatest gift of all.

I want to teach Baby, when she is older, that Santa and his reindeers are not real, that giving and receiving presents are not important, and the only important gift to receive at Christmas is the gift of salvation through our Lord Jesus, because that is the whole purpose of Him coming down here, and to me the only reason why Christmas should be celebrated and remembered.

Party Blues

2005-12-23T14:49:00.001+08:00

I don't really enjoy parties now.....mostly because I am quite sick of getting asked what I am doing now, whether I am enjoying life as a tai tai or how I spend my days at home. I don't fit into discussions of how the stock market is doing, how much bonus the company is paying or who is getting what promotions. My low self esteem tells me that society does not look favourably on women who decide to stay at home and look after their child/ren. Somehow I feel that society labels a woman successful only if she can carve out a career for herself and bring up children who are well-mannered with bright shining futures. People applaud women who are working mothers, full time mothers get the strange look as if we are trying to be plain lazy by staying at home.

Oh well, I will just rest in the fact that my significance is not in what I can do but that I am a precious child of God. That at the end of the day it is not how much I earn or do but whether my life pleases the Lord. And if my belief is that staying at home to teach my baby Godly Christian values is more important getting a illustrious career then I will just have to totally ignore what others think. At least I don't have to worry about my baby learning broken English from a maid or calling the nanny mama or having values that are not ours.

In fact, staying at home has allowed me to chase some dreams that I would never have the time or guts to do if I were still chasing that promotion. So who cares what you think.....I am enjoying myself!

Have Enough

2005-12-20T16:37:00.003+08:00

After 1 year as a full time mother, I have enough of certain things....such as:

Working mothers preaching their child-rearing theories to me.
Comments like "wah, you are tai-tai now ah!"
Comments like " what do you do at home the whole day? aren't you bored?"
Comments like "why is your baby so clingy? you don't bring her out is it? oh you must bring her out more!" (For the record, I bring my baby out very often, either by myself or with my hubby.....and she is quite friendly even to strangers....and she only react negatively when she doesn't like the person's face.)
In-laws telling me what to do.....they used to leave me alone!

But there are some people who have rendered precious help and advice in my times of need.....people like cousin P, Pastor E & his wife and good friends who lent a listening ear like N, M & K.......thanks a lot!

Old Friends

2005-12-19T11:25:00.001+08:00

Met with old friends K & L at their new home yesterday. They just had their No. 2 6 weeks ago. Both of them, and their No. 1, are looking cool and collected. Guess that's what experience does for you. But when they had No.1 things were not as smooth as now, they also had almost the same hair-raising experiences as us. Incessant crying, postnatal depression, etc, etc.....But surprise surprise they still had the courage to do it all over again!

I have not gotten over the trauma of childbirth and bringing up baby from 0-6 months......those were the most horrible days of my entire life.....I haven't forgotten.......I have pictures (like the one here) to remind me......

Feeding Frustrations

2005-12-16T19:36:00.002+08:00

It's getting increasingly difficult to feed my baby as she grows older. She used to be such a joy and breeze to feed at meal times, now every meal seems like a battlefield......I know, I know...some mothers who are reading this must be shouting:"But you shouldn't fight with them at mealtimes, or else they would lose interest in eating altogether!" Yes, yes i know all the book knowledge of how to feed your baby 101, but getting it right is another story. It's really hard to keep my patience and cool and tolerate all her irritating antics when I feel so anxious that she is eating less and may not be getting sufficient nutrition.

Baby used to eat anything we put in her mouth, but these few weeks she is eating less than her usual amount and getting picky and fussy as well. Now she wants to eat whatever we are eating, not her usual blended baby food, yet if there are too many lumps or chunks in the food like meat, she would spit it out! We have tried to change her menu many times in order to help her find her past appetite, but it doesn't seem to be working very well.......

I am thinking of bringing her to the doc, but deep inside I guess he wouldn't have any antidote to make her like all kinds of food and to like eating again, would he? At most, he will suggest us giving her whatever she likes to eat, and not to force feed (yes we know, we know).......The only thing he can do for us is to give her a checkup and verify that her lack of appetite has nothing to do with her health but simply her choice.

SIGH......

First Day....First Time

2005-12-12T15:32:00.001+08:00

This is quite exciting actually.......

I have named this blog Life's Jewels for the jewels in my life: my LORD, my husband, and my baby.....and also for the jewels i m creating.......

To my husband who is turning 29 tmr: thanks for sticking with me these 9 years......i know it hasn't been easy......but i hope the ride was not all bad......the best years are ahead! Luv ya n HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!